OK, so I am in the 2 week wait (2ww) now, 7 days past ovulation, but with still 8 more days until my Fertility Friend chart is telling me to test. 8 more days, are you kidding??? That is a eternity once you hit the 2ww. For me the first week always seems to go by much faster then the second. Maybe it's because you know the first week is way too early to be testing anyways, not that that has stopped me before when I was right in the prime of my peeing on a stick addiction, or maybe it's just because I always SEEM to stay busier during that first week. This cycle the first week went flying by since I have been really busy with 2 more funerals and spending time with my extended family, but now things have gone back to normal and the days seem to get much longer, although it is now staying darker in the mornings longer and getting darker in the evenings faster, so you would think that the days would seem to go by faster instead of slower.
Only 7 dpo, and already I am noticing how I am trying to analyse every little thing that could possible be a early pregnancy symptom. I always tell myself that I am being crazy and that I just need to let it go and wait it out before I start trying to make every little thing into pregnancy symptoms. Especially with this cycle since we have pretty much no chance in hell of being pregnant. I actually thought that with this cycle I would relax and not be symptom obsessive, but today I notices the obsession starting.
• Implantation bleeding (spotting)• A missed period• Basal body temperature • Tender, swollen breasts• Headache• Constipation• Mood Swings• Frequent urination• Fatigue• Nausea or vomiting• Bloating and Heartburn
Just to name a few common early pregnancy symptoms.
So this morning I woke up feeling just a tad bit of nausea. I tired to blow it off as just being hungry, since when I get hungry I don't get the "normal" tummy grumbling tat most people do, I just get nausea...but still in my mind, I was thinking..."ok, maybe just maybe it is a early symptom" I took my temperature, and i went up a bit more...and I think about my chart pattern and how pretty and steady it looks with such a nice incline in temperatures, but then remember it did the same thing last cycle as well and turned out to be BIG FAT NEGATIVE. But still in my mind, I thought..."it's still going up and i was expecting a drop...could this be my month?" So I get up to go pee and find myself looking at the tissue and praying and hoping for some implant bleeding/spotting. I mean EEWWW, but yet tons of us still do it just to give us that tiny bit of hope that we obsess about and then cling to so dearly just to be all sad and disappointed in the end of our cycles anyways. Sure it might not mean disappointment in the end of every ones cycle, but when you suffer from IF, the majority of all our cycles do not end positively.
So the after finally being out of bed for a little bit, my husband comes up to me and gives my boob a little "honk honk" and I yell at him to be gentle because they are still sensitive. Now I think for a second and remember that although they were very sore right from ovulation for about 5 days, I remember that yesterday they were not, so now I am thinking that "maybe, just maybe, they are getting sensitive again from a early pregnancy symptom" By tis time I have to pee again, and am thinking, "this is twice already this morning....could this be frequent urination?" No, it doesn't end there either...I find that even after sleeping very good last night, after only being up for a couple hours, I am tired. VERY tired. Yet one more early pregnancy symptom to add to the list of obsessiveness.
Now why do we do this to our self? Analyse every little thing that we pray and hope is going to be the result of a BFP, when we all really know that the odds of that, have already been so unfairly stacked against us. It's so silly...but day after day we continue to do it. I have heard of, and am a member of the "pee on a stick addiction club", but now I guess I also have to add my name to the "analysing early pregnancy symptoms addiction club" as well.
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