Friday, December 11, 2009

Cautiously excited with BFP!

Yeahhhh, well later on I tried a frer and got a BFP, so I am very causiously excited. We arent telling anyone really yet, except bloggers and fertility friend girls, as we are still worried that things could go bad. I went for beta on Wednesday, which was either 11 or 13 dpo, and the result came back 45.9. My RE said that was low, and now I need to go again for another beta to check and see if it is doubling or not, and won't know the results until Monday.

Fingers crossed that things will go good this time, and that baby will have my blood and have a much higher chance at surviving.

FXFXFX

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Too Good to Be True

Cycle day 28 today. I was so excited this month, I really thought this was it. I had the perfect triphasic looking chart. I started doing pregnancy tests early as usual, and on CD 27, which was 12 DPO, I started to get faint pink lines. I tested first with FMU, and got a tiny pink line on a Dollarama stor cheapie test, and also tested with a internet cheapie test (which that one was big fat negative), but I was still holding on to hope since the $store test clearly had a light pink line.

I then tested a few hours later after holding my pee for as long as I could, and this time both types of tests came up with light pink lines, and the $store test was a bit darker then before. I told myself not to get too excited, as these tese were prone to false positives and evap lines. But how can you not start getting excited? Great high temps, a triphasic chart, and 3 tests showing little pink lines.

Later that night I tried a internet cheapie from earlypregnancytests.com, and it was BFN again. I tried not to worry and just tell myself that it was because I had been drinking some water and my pee was diluted.

But this morning when i tested again, all tests were BFN, and my temperature took a nose dive. I am so sad, and so depressed feeling, yet I can not seem to cry about it. I feel like the emotions are trapped inside screamign to get out. Maybe it's because I am still hoping for a miracle and that I will get clear BFP...but I am pretty sure I am out of the running now, and just waiting for AF to show. Booo